Friday, April 03, 2009

North Texas, No Scrubs, and F- you Iowa.

For the last year and a half, my favorite NCAA team has been North Texas. I don't know essentially what drew me to UNT other than an act of god. My conservative dicta and beliefs played a role in my indoctrination to the mean green, although most campuses in this country are about as liberal as Nancy Pelosi at a progressive fondue party. Anywho, the Mean Green kick ass. Little ol' Denton, Texas has produced the great Mean Joe Green, hence the Mean Green nickname. Maybe I am a Mean Green fan because Denton was the location of the the film Unneccesary Roughness. You remember that one, right? The one where Kathy Ireland kicks a FG to force a tie with the Kansas Jayhawks and proceeds to kick a thuggish Jayhawk football player in the nuts? Really, you should netflix it sometime. Maybe it had to do with my NCAA 08 dynasty with my buddy Brent in Paynesville last year. As true football junkies, we know the importance of building a program from scratch. Last year, one rule; one of us gets a team from the MAC, the other selects a team from the Sun Belt Conference. We had so much fucking fun last year recruiting and playing each other in a home-and-home series that I actually remember vividly my star recruits. For example, Terrance Veach was the heart and soul of my team. He was a 3 star recruit from Plainview, TX. I had to promise him quite a bit of playing time and a Sun Belt conference title to get him. He had offers from UTEP, Akron, UAB, and Iowa of all places. Brent thought Veach would go for the big ten offer, but everyone knows Iowa is a cesspool. I was so thrilled when I discoverd he decided on the Mean Green. His dimensions were phenomenal for this little ol' school in Denton.; 5'9 208, 97 speed, 95 TRK, 96 STA, 94 SPM, and a 84 AWR..........as a FRESHMAN! Babs hated this guy. He would constantly overpursue with his backers and once my boy Veach put a foot in the ground and changed direction, it was sayonara sucker! His running mate was my QB, Andre Morgan. Andre couldn't really throw accurately and his pocket presence was about as good as Tarvaris Jackson's. But man, 88 speed rating. I loved running the spread triple option with him as my trigger man because he was so good at accelerating. Babs knew it was coming and still, he came up on the short end of defending my option attack. And finally, Ty Heard. Ty was my first four-star recruit. He was an athlete but due to depth problems, he was my instant fix at WLB. Ty Heard was a special talent because of the depth he got on critical passing downs. My corners at that time would just go quarters basically because Ty took away so many sightlines for the Temple signal callers. And his number was 44; what a kickass number for an athletic, stud backer like Ty Heard!

Maybe it had to with my own shitty experiences as a fan of the UMM football team. Somehow, losing to the likes of Martin Luther and Mayville State diminshed my devotion to the 'ol football team of my sad alma mater. Oh, sorry for that brief lapse in continuation. On to it!

I know more about these video game gridiron greats than I do about 99.9 percent of my relatives. Is it sad? No. Most of my relatives are sociopaths or sociology majors; I don't know what is worse! But in real life, UNT is battling hard times. Last year, they won one game. In 2007, they actually were looking up at the Golden Gopher defense in every major NCAA defense category. They could light it up. For instance, against Navy in 2007, they scored 62 points. Problem being of course, Navy racked up 74. This year will be tough. They travel to Bryant-Denny stadium to play the Crimson Tide. The only good thing the Mean Green will get from that game is a check.

But, I love UNT. Fouts Field holds special significance for me. The tiny, intimate gathering abode of 30,500 may not have much to cheer about this year. But they will return as the best team in the Sun Belt and who knows, maybe can take down a SEC team or two. At this point, I'd take a win over anyone; including temple.

My deepest apologies for not discussing my disdain for the hours and hours of repeat Scrubs episodes or my newfound disdain for the Hawkeye nation. Be well.