Sunday, May 10, 2009

Always having fun at my expense.

I finally saw a new movie this month. It was the new take on the Star Trek franchise. My overall review is succinct; very cool. But one thing pissed me off about it. That one thing being the inclusion of Tyler Perry in the cast. I mean, seriously? When I first saw him in the movie, I thought, "Holy *&@#, that actor looks like Tyler Perry? That can't be Tyler Perry, can it? Can it? Hold up Levi, you have seen too many House of Payne Promos during TNT's coverage of the NBA playoffs." The stylistic and bombastic special effects were enough to take me away from that thought until the end. Another scene. Damn, the resemblance is unnerving. Oh, it couldn't be him.

As I usually do after watching movies I have a genuine appreciation for, I stayed and watched the credits. I figure, the entire cast and crew poured sweat and blood into an awesome movie, the least I could do was sit on my fat ass and give them the proper respect for delivering an outstanding effort. And sure enough, playing the role of an Admiral was.................Tyler Perry. That almost ruined the entire movie for me. What did JJ Abrams possibly see in Tyler Perry? Jimmy Smits played the same role during the Star Wars prequels, couldn't JJ call Jimmy Smits' agent and set something up? Jimmy Smits would have probably been up for it. Heck, Samuel L. Jackson would have been up for it too. That is a guy who loves to work. He is the anti-Daniel Day Lewis. Sometimes I wonder if Samuel L. even reads scripts. But back to this, I couldn't believe it. It shook me. Winona Ryder playing an elderly mother to a half human, half Vulcan I could understand. The Tyler Perry casting decision just didn't make any sense to me. It probably never will.

I won't get tired of the Brett Favre talk. Hell, I could listen to Brett Favre rumors for the next fifty years. Why? Because of this swine flu mularkey, everything that I once cringed at is sweet music to my ears. I mean, the swine flu was the flu. End of story. It certainly didn't help that Plugs went on the air and pressed the panic button. What a guy! After listening to Biden's ill-fated PSA, we had the pleasure of listening to Robert Gibbs tell a room of Washington pressers what the vp MEANT to see. Oh I get it. From the party of a president who once asked what the definition of the word is was, we get a spin doctor telling us what the VP meant to say. God, I wish Robert Gibbs was around when I was in fourth grade. Instead of going to detention for looking at baseball cards during class, my buddy Robert Gibbs could have told my teacher that I MEANT to write a well-crafted essay on the benefits of a public school education. I would have been in the clear then. Kids nowadays don't know how good they have it! Some kid in Maryland now is using the Robert Gibbs defense and getting away with looking at porn during English class. Brilliant. Well, he shouldn't be looking at porn. But then again, baseball cards are antiquated now anyway.

I sure wish everyday could be a sunny symphony of grace, goodwill, and beauty. But it isn't. A guy's mood is crushed when the ladies around him don't give a damn about their appearance. They should step up to the plate. Try to look hot. That is all. I am getting awfully tired so I you all good evening. It is time to get off my bloody soapbox!

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